UNLOCKING (AND PROTECTING) YOUR CONFIDENCE
Confidence is our raw power source.
When confidence runs low (or is blocked), there simply isn’t enough juice to power your success. It takes confidence to start, to stick with, and to see your vision through without sacrificing your integrity.
Problems with confidence starts when you don’t notice what drains and what recharges your power.
Often life situations end up controlling what we believe is possible (and impossible) because we don’t protect our confidence above all else. You see, every time you experience negative emotions like,
- not enoughness (scarcity), fear, doubt, worry, anxiety, rejection, vengeful, defeat, regret, guilt, confusion, etc.
All that (and the like) are withdrawals from your storehouse of confidence. Then, when your confidence runs on empty, it’s all too easy to forget making regular confidence deposits with things like:
- vision, curiosity, fun, laughter, meaning, purpose, adventure, openness, passion, personal growth, appreciation, gratitude, perspective, love (not lust), welcoming, etc.
Those positive emotions recharge your confidence.
Just like direct deposit and auto payments on a bank account. Ya follow me?
When we focus on the withdrawals, we stay rooted firmly in lack, and live in constant fear of running out of confidence. We think there’s a limited supply.
So what do we normally do in these circumstances?
We try to protect our self-confidence by avoiding the things that drain us all together.
And, of course, we can’t see that the very act of protecting and holding on actually depletes our power even more. It cuts off your power from flowing.
Oxygen is to your body as confidence is to success.
I mean, what happens if you hold your breath for too long?
What happens if you exhale without ever inhaling?
For that matter, what happens if you inhale without exhaling?
All 3 stop the natural in and out flow, do they not? Under any condition other than unrestricted in and out causes light headedness… followed by unconsciousness and death if breathing doesn’t resume, right?
It all starts with the awareness that your power comes from the flow of confidence. Anytime we try to conserve our energy, we’re actually choking ourselves off from the energy source.
Confidence must be allowed to flow freely to power us. The deeper you inhale and exhale, the more that can flow.
Which is a damn good thing because it takes plenty of confidence to learn, plan, design, build, and operate your freedom plan. And you always burn through an enormous amount of confidence every time you even think about venturing into anything unfamiliar.
- It takes confidence to start.
- More confidence to face all the unexpected (and inevitable) obstacles along the way.
- And even more to create unprecedented results you’ve never lived before.
In fact, success requires everyone to pass 3 specific tests of confidence before it’ll hang with you for any significant time…
1. The Going Against Gravity Test:
This first test is, without a doubt, the hardest of the three (it almost always sucks even the largest confidence reserves dry in the blink of an eye).
You’ve probably heard some version of Chinese philosopher, Lao-Tzu’s advice: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” It’s about not getting overwhelmed trying to swallow the elephant whole, right?
The problem is, taking that first step feels like you’re fighting gravity.
It feels that way because you are. The gravity of your current situation.
You see, anytime you set out (mentally or physically) in a brand new direction, you’re always going against the gravity of what is. Our comfort zones (that which we know, are familiar with, and understand the “rules” of) always exerts a much stronger force on us because we’re inside its gravity field.
Did you catch that?
If you don’t understand this natural phenomenon you’re doomed to failure no matter what else try or do.
Because you’re always inside your current situation. Therefore it’s always exerting a more powerful force on you than any new outside situation that you’ve yet to experience. That’s why, escaping the gravity of what is comes down to you exerting your own power from within the current situation.
Just like a rocket blasting off burns through something like 90+% of its fuel to escape earth’s gravity, you’ll need the most amount of confidence when you first attempt expand your comfort zone beyond your present reality.
Because, oddly enough, even if your current situation sucks, it still has a stronger gravity than venturing into unknown waters (no matter how positive you anticipate and imagine the new situation might one day be).
Now, the good news in all this is, even though this first confidence test requires the most amount of energy, your current situation gives up it’s hold on you really fast when you hit it with everything you’ve got.
The Misunderstood Truth About The Law Of Attraction:
When you feel the fear, doubts, and confusion… and take those first few steps anyway, before you know it you will have escaped the gravity of what was.
And, once free, now, you can start to feel the brand new situation pulling you slightly that you couldn’t feel inside the old situation. It starts off very slight at first, but it’s there. If you allow it, the gravity of the new situation you want, slowly, yet automatically, calls to you.
That’s the misunderstood truth about how law of attraction really works. No amount of positive affirmations or visualization matters until you, first, break free of the gravity of what is (because you can’t tune into the gravity of what want and what is at the same time).
2. The Momentum Test:
Until you gain a solid momentum towards your wanted outcome (but you have yet to experience), you’ll always be in danger of having to retake the first confidence test all over again.
Although you’ll want to take a break in between the two tests, you can’t because the instant you break through the main gravitational field of what was, the momentum confidence test starts.
See, two things control the pulling power of any situation’s gravity:
INTENSITY: The stronger a situation’s emotional charge is for you, the more powerful its gravity. And gravity doesn’t play favorites by giving more weight to a positive emotional charge over a negative one. If you really, really, really want something, the burning desire of that situation will gather the same gravity as a situation you really, really, really hate. The more intensely you love or hate a situation (both real and imagined), the stronger its gravity pulling power. Period.
PROXIMITY: The closer you “stand” to a gravity field, the stronger its influence on you it will be. Each step closer increases the gravitational force exerted on ya even if your emotional charge stays the same (although the closer you get to stepping inside an emotionally charged situation, your intensity tends to also increase because your excitement (or fear) levels will dial up the closer to “reality” something you really want or don’t want, gets). In other words, the closer you stand to the fire, hotter it feels no matter how intensely it’s burning.
Ponder this for a second: When you first enter the momentum phase, you’re no longer inside your comfort zone… nor are you inside the new situation you want either.
However, which situation is almost always gonna be closer to you at this point?
Which holds a bigger emotional charge?
Because, remember, all emotions gather gravity equally.
Even if the new situation has a stronger gravity, you’re too far away for its attractive powers will have only a negligible effect… until you move closer to its field (and, at the same time, move away from the gravity of the old situation).
Can you see how this is a major test of your confidence?
If you lose focus here, you’ll backslide into the familiar (and never understand the real reason why).
It’s unconscious (or subconscious). Yet, before you gain enough momentum towards the success you want, you’re stuck in limbo.
It’s a completely foreign place between the comfort of what you know… and that uncomfortable, scary place where none of the “rules” seem to work anymore. You are in zero gravity (well, not actually zero, but it’s sooo different from what we’re use to, it might as well be).
You see, we’ve escaped the gravity of our comfort zone and now we start to question what the hell we just did. Because not only are you drifting off in space, if you don’t keep your confidence strong, you’ll loose sight why you took the leap in the first place.
It’s like looking down and suddenly realizing how high up we are.
And what does that fear do?
You got it. It adds to the gravitational pull of what was. Which shifts our focus back to what we understand.
Then, before you know it, bam! Back inside the old situation again; feeling like a failure; and wondering if you have it in ya to get up off the matt one more time (if you dare go against gravity again).
It takes a steady supply of confidence to remain focused when you don’t have a clue (yet) how to get there…
It takes confidence to trust you can quickly gain the momentum that frees you from backsliding…
It takes confidence to stick to your guns when lots of obstacles seem to block you, and…
…Obstacles are a definite.
Sorry, that’s reality.
In fact, there are usually MORE obstacles in the beginning, before gaining momentum. Not because there’s it’s some conspiracy to keep you from winning. Simply because the first time you attempt something you’ve never done before, there’s an inertia that must be overcome.
When it comes to success that inertia almost always comes in the form of learning curves. The learning curve of implementation, that is.
See, no matter how great a student you are, there’s always a gap between learning and successfully doing.
You make more mistakes the first time you try to do something you’ve never done before.
And yet: Those obstacles are your biggest momentum builders… they’re just in disguise!
Each obstacle is actually a mini launching pad that propels motion. With confidence you can direct that motion towards what you want. Without confidence you recherché off one obstacle into the next, like a renegade pinball, until you get the shit kicked out of you, and find yourself back where you started.
The point is, to successfully pass this confidence test you have to push off every challenge so you use it as an opportunity to move towards what you want; to increase your momentum forward!
3. The Conviction Test:
Conviction is the final test before success comes pouring into your experience in ways that’s almost spooky.
After mustering enough confidence to escape the gravity of what is, overcome the biggest barriers to motion towards what we want, and gain some forward momentum, we’re still not there yet, right?
Conviction is the final piece of the confidence puzzle; it’s what we all need to see things through to the end…
…it’s the difference between wanting and having.
Conviction is the ultimate confidence that allows you to stay the course until…
Until you get where you’re going… until desires become reality… until potential is actual.
Without conviction, all your ideas, beliefs, thoughts, visions, and positive affirmations will never become hard-core, real world reality.
Yes, passing the first two tests, makes those desires burn stronger within you.
Yet, holding a raging inferno inside hurts.
You gotta let it out.
Making the leap from the intangible to tangible requires conviction to set your burning desires free. That’s the missing ingredient that lets you pluck an idea from your mind and make it manifest in your physical reality.
Conviction is the difference between imagining and actually living your ideal life. Between having the outcomes you want instead of wishing for ’em.
People who aren’t yet living their dreams say,
“Show me. Prove it. When I see it, then I’ll know it’s true.”
However, when you decide to take a stand for your beliefs (regardless who agrees or if there’s any outside “proof” to validate your vision)…
…and, when you have the courage to draw that line in the sand, that’s when conviction super charges your personal gravity field.
Conviction sees the unseen; it knows the unknown before it’s known; it *is* the evidence of things not seen!
Most miss its power because it’s hidden in plain sight. See it? If not, don’t worry, you will.
With conviction, no outside confirmation, verification, or approval is ever necessary.
Impatience, insecurity, and doubt are replaced by a quiet, calm, centered (yet unlimited & unstoppable) power that makes everyone take notice without you saying a word.
You’re laser focused, but never forced because you know it’s not “if” but “when” you’ll get there; because you’re confident you will figure out all the “hows” in between.
Conviction needs no guarantee of success to take the next step forward. It requires no promises that any individual step will work because it knows the eventual outcome is 100% assured. It loves and embraces the zig-zag process that shows us the mid-course corrections we need to make. It gives you the confidence to stick to your guns no matter what (because you’re the only one who gets to declare what’s right for you).
Plus, conviction opens the door to ultimate freedom because you never need to argue, justify, or convince anyone (or anything) opposing you…
Because there’s just no need to defend anything you know to be true.
What about impatience?
Well, impatience is a sure sign fear has snuck in the backdoor. It points, with uncanny accuracy, that it’s time to recharge your confidence.
Because impatience is the fear something outside you controls, influences, or has power over your situation. It’s always rooted in the fear you won’t get what you want, fast enough (if at all). Conviction allows you to shed all that worry. Timing doesn’t matter when your outcome is an absolute certainty. A forgone conclusion.
That’s when all setbacks and delays serve you. All roads take you there no matter how winding, scenic, or how fast you travel them. You relax in the confidence that comes from knowing sooner or later, it all works out.
If you truly knew there’s an infinite number of ways to get the outcome(s) you want, would ever be attached to one specific path? Would you force things into needing to look a certain way to feel satisfied with your progress?
If you knew each obstacle is a stepping-stone to your desires, would you fear or welcome it? Would you rush the process or savor each breakthrough for the confidence building power it gives you?
You’d go with the flow of your confidence, would you not?
It’s the difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. Your conviction plays to win. Fear plays not to lose.
Conviction gives you the open-minded flexibility to see solutions when everyone else is distracted by the problems. You stay focused without the forced action that comes when you fear not getting what you want. No new bright shinny object ever captures your attention when conviction keeps you focused on your mission.
Funny thing happens when you calmly make up your mind to stand by your convictions… the universe backs you up and helps you get there (because you’re already there emotionally, mentally, and spiritually). Why and how, you ask?
Gravity, of course.
Because did you notice the first two confidence tests are about the gravity of outside situations? Of the current conditions you want to change and the new ones you want instead?
Well, conviction builds your own internal personal gravity field.
Remember the two factors the controls the pulling power of any gravity field?
Intensity and Proximity, right?
Conviction super charges you with the emotional intensity of peaceful confidence. And, since it takes place inside you, no outside influence ever has a closer proximity to you.
That’s why the stronger your conviction, the stronger your personal gravity field.
And, the stronger your personal gravity, the stronger you pull other masses to you.
With conviction and momentum you close the gap from both sides. The stronger your gravity field grows the more it pulls like masses towards it. It’s pulling you to it and your gravity’s attracting it to you!
You’re moving towards the new situation you want and it’s also being pulled into you.
Chew on that for a sec. It came as a profound revelation to me.
That’s how to get the proverbial Midas Touch. It’s the difference between pursuing the gold ring that’s always just out of reach and letting success catch you.
One more quick thing you should know:
You can create massive success by only passing the first two confidence tests.
However, without conviction, your results will always be fleeting, accidental, and often completely empty of any kind of meaningful impact.
…more of a string of one-hit-wonders that leaves you more uncertain, unfulfilled and impatient about your future.